1) To free yourself from the prison of hate and anger. For as long as you hold on to your feelings of hurt, pain, and the will to punish, you are held a prisoner. Releasing the past so it no longer has control over your thoughts and feelings, is the only way you will be set free.
2) Un-forgiveness will make you sick – literally. To harbor anger, hatred and anything negative in your heart will take a toll on your body. It takes many times more energy to hold on to anger as it does for letting it go. Negative thinking is destructive to your health! It creates havoc on your inside. Every organ system in your body has to work harder to accommodate all the hate and anger, as they do not belong in your system.
3) To give you clarity and help you focus. Un-forgiveness distorts your vision. A huge part of your psyche is dedicated to housing the feelings of hate, anger, and the wish to punish. Because you are so focused on the deed that makes you angry, you cannot keep a clear and objective outlook. You cannot keep a clear vision of your goals and the path you need to take to accomplish them.
4) To keep your important relationships intact. Your un-forgiveness is affecting the people closest to you. Whether you realize it or not, internal anger and unresolved negative feelings causes you to act and react differently to situations than you normally would, had you not been burdened with un-forgiveness. There is a constant battle taking place on the inside between the positive and the negative, and at times when the negative is exceeding the positive, you will be prone to snap or deal with people in your immediate circle, irrationally. Your most meaningful relationships can be destroyed if you do not reclaim full control of you.
5) So you can be whole again. As long as you have these negative feelings of hurt, pain, hate, and anger taking away from you, you are not complete. You are not able to embrace happiness – which is the most sought after need of every human, and you are not able to give or accept love wholeheartedly. You block the connections to the higher power, which causes you to lose sight of what your passions are, and what brings you joy, leaving you feeling lost without direction. Being stuck in a place of un-forgiveness puts a block in your ability to feel your connection to the divine and to your higher self. Your stronger intuitive insight and the deepened experience of spiritual connection cannot be felt as long as the way is unclear.
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. Through personal struggle and tragedy you will gain a deeper understanding of the psychological and spiritual landscape of forgiveness, from its difficulties to its greatest rewards. By being able to forgive, you learn how to extend yourself to others and realize that this action is part of your healing. Forgiveness is not forgetting; in fact, you need to remember what happened to you, and how it affected you mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually! Forgiveness is having the memory, without the need to punish.
There is undoubtedly some very difficult events in our lives that seem almost impossible to forgive, but these are precisely the ones that need to be forgiven. If your experience has been so traumatic that it is a constant interference in your day to day life, it may be best to seek the help of a trusted professional therapist who can assist you in your healing. You must get to the point of complete healing and forgiveness. You remain a constant victim for as long as you have not forgiven them, and your health, relationships, and overall ability suffers. Un-forgiveness affects us on all levels: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Forgiving someone is possible! It cannot be done without heart. It takes acknowledgement, will power, and a sense of purpose to get to the act of complete forgiveness. If you are willing to welcome forgiveness in your heart, as difficult as it may be, you are releasing yourself from the powerful hold of being a victim. When you embrace forgiveness you embrace, peace, joy, hope, and happiness.
Take back control of you! Stop being the victim and start being the victor. Forgive him, her, them, yourself – for you!